There IS Life After

I am a volcano

& my lava rises

Everything has a cost and

The price is

More then I am willing to pay

This is the painful point

Where awareness meets acceptance

I have stood here before

Last time I swore

I would never return

I dressed my behaviours in a different pair of pants

Convincing myself

THIS time it would be different

I was insistent

That I could see myself through

I leaned back on my laurels

And paused to drink in the dew

I found in the enchanted forest

The same story of addiction

Only the love & relationship edition

I cannot hear logic

Over the volume of my hearts denial

If its service was not vital

I would have disposed of such a troublesome piece of equipment

A long time ago

It doesn’t matter the feet of the idol

I carefully select to grope & gravel

Or the roll of the dice

That I carelessly gamble

The consequences are identical

These addictive tentacles

Are woven into every area of my life

If I wrung it out

Havoc would drip down like sweat

From my forehead

After a particularly compulsive bout

of exercise

I could pass a breathalyz

-er test now

But my soul still burns

With hunger that I cannot satisfy


I wonder

If I even have a soul

Or if It is a thousand locusts I carry in my breast

I know my progress is most at threat

When their tiny mouths reach up through my neck

Into my throat

Eating is another thing I use to cope

A different storm

Same boat

It is not hopeless

The way it was before

There are new pathways being formed

That I cannot give up on

Or ignore

Life goes on – I will too

Spinning another last thread

To swing from

Until one day ill have spun myself a ladder

There I S life after


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