The Truth Bus

My friend once told me 

When I was trying to stop drinking 

She looked at me and said 

You know your personality really POPs 

When you drink 

You really start to shine

And I knew it wasn’t a lie 

I’d also heard the phrase before 

I drank as if to save the world from drowning and I always related to this sentiment as I lifted bottles to my lips 

But I knew in that instant that I didn’t drink to save anyone 

But myself 

Because without the 35% in my system 

I’m not flat anymore 

All my potential becomes untapped 

My clipped wings can unfurl 

And I can fly 

And that I realized is also a lie 

A lie that I believed for so long 

And it’s okay it wasn’t wrong 

Just where I was and what I had to do 

Cause and effect 

Desperate actions cause for desperate measures 

All behaviour has consequences 

It’s fucking gravity 

What goes up must come down and just like the throes of an incredibly unhealthy relationship 

It all came crashing down 

Around me

To suffocate and drown me 

Oh how I loved what it gave me and hated how it would take from me 

Every once in a while I emerge from the haze and confusion 

A ground hog 

Smelling the air for spring 

For hope 

For a second chance 

But that truth bus slams on the gas 

And hit’s me full force 

Not a Mini Cooper 

Or a smart car 

But a fucking semi truck of reality 

And that reality ? 

Too painful to process 

To bitter to sit in 

So I hold my breath and dive back under 

All I can do is wonder 


I’ll be 






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