The day I found out there was life growing inside me
I burst into sobs,
Of shock, disbelief, and fear.
The doctor, her face filled with concern,
Looked into my eyes and said, “You know you have options.”
In an instant my mind cleared,
And wiping my face I stood up to leave
While trying to impress upon her what deep down
I so strongly believed.
That life being concieved
was nothing short of a m i r a c l e.
No matter how afraid and unprepared I felt,
I knew I was only seeing a fraction of the bigger picture.
Whatever hand of cards I was dealt,
With God’s help,
I would deal.
I didnt want to be hurtful to others in my position,
That had to make that difficult choice,
So with my hand on the door,
I explained in a voice that quivered,
“I understand my options.”
As I left the room my thoughts started to race,
No matter how determined I was I could still
Feel the fear and doubt lurking in the corners of my heart and mind
And I would be lyin’ if I told you that I knew
It would be okay.
Like a sickness the doubt spread
I started to wonder if everything I’d worked so hard to achieve
was now lost because of a careless mistake –
Was I capable of this?
Would my dreams, my castles in the sand
Would they be swept away by this change in plans?
As the weeks went by I acted the part,
I felt like I was frozen in time
The world kept spinning and I needed it to stop!
In time I was able to embrace the unknown
Before I knew it I was filled with strength to go on
And love that grew a little every day
Like the baby in my belly,
And my certainty
That this was a gift like no other
NOT A MISTAKE
But A blessing.
