Poetry

Balance Ballet

My relationship status with food says:

“It’s complicated”

I didn’t realize how it waited

It hibernated just below the surface

Chemical addiction

Or behaviour addiction

They both bring

Disregulation

Shame

& Fear

One day at a time

I can choose to never have that first drink

But one day at a time

I DO need to eat

You see

With food it must be moderation

Not elimination

& ohhh how I dance

Toe to heel

Toe to heel

In this balance Ballet

Sobriety brought me a buffet

Of meaningful experiences & relationships

& I feast daily

On These blessings

I am afraid to let my body feast

The same way

Too little Too much

Too little Too much

I try to shift the focus

From how I look to how I feel

On my journey to heal

I realize

I must nourish myself physically

The way I am learning to nourish myself

Emotionally

Spiritually

Nourish to Flourish

Nourish to Flourish

I had to get a bigger toolbox

To carry all the skills I need

plant the seeds

& water them too

My body is mine

& it matters because of the purpose it serves

And the memories it holds

My self respect is not on sale

I have sold

myself short

one too many times

Food is good

& my body is too

As I learn to

release expectations

self love breaks through

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